Draco's Last Battle
by Elpin
Summary: The war is over. A lot has happened to Draco, and a lot is still to come. How will the last year at Hogwarts affect him? Slash. DMHP. Draco will be a little OOC because the war will have affected him a lot. Complete!
1. Prologue

**Warning: **none

**Disclaimer:** JKR own _everything_. I'm just playing.

**Note**: This just came to me just before I went to bed. I then dreamt up the whole story, but I thought I'd see if anybody liked this little scene, or prologue, before writing down the whole story. I'm horrible at sticking with stories, and this will be the third one to have more than one chapter! Weird. Tell me what you think!

-:-

"Potter," Draco's words were lined with just a hind of the old malice. "The Boy… no, The Man Who Lived… twice." The last words were said with a touch of bitterness.

"Malfoy, I-" Draco held up his hand and Harry automatically stopped. He didn't want to push Draco or make him angry. The boy, man Harry corrected, must be an emotional wreck. He had after all just bared his soul in front of a bunch of Ministry officials. Not one action, emotion or motivation left unexplored. Draco's role in the war had been picked clean, his innocence finally established.

"What, Potter? Come to have one last row with me now that it's all over? Want to force me to crawl on my knees and say thank you? Say you were right? Become your devote fan and slave for witnessing for me? You shouldn't have, you know. I _told_ you not to. I…" His voice trailed off along with his eyes, which were suddenly preoccupied with studying the ceiling. "You should have let them send me to Azkaban." He almost knocked Harry over when he ran out before Harry could get another word in.


	2. Back at Hogwarts

**Warning:** None really in this chapter.

**Disclaimer:** JKR owns everything and this disclaimer goes for all future chapters!

**Note:** Sorry about the long speech in the beginning of this chapter. I needed to explain why all the seventh-years are in the same dorm now. It might not make much sense, but the important thing is just that after HBP the school was closed for a year because of the war, and now Harry and co. are back for their last year.

-:-

"It is my duty as Headmistress of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry to welcome you all back! After a year of being closed we hope you all will find Hogwarts the same as it has always been, but because all of you are in effect missing a year, there are going to be a few changes." McGonagall's voice was clear and precise over the throng of students seated or standing in the Great Hall. "Before we commence with the Sorting Ceremony I must therefore inform you all on these changes. Some of you have been home schooled I realize, and will have the opportunity to show us if you are ready to skip a grade. We also realize that though your education was put on hold last year, you are still one year older. Those in second-year will therefore get Hogsmade weekends, and all other students will be allowed the privileges that their age dictates. One last thing: As you all probably realize we have double the amount of first-years this year. In fact we have too many students this year to fit in the usual dormitories. But there are also fewer seventh-years than usual, due to several factors I will not get into now. Many of you no doubt have already found your place in the Magical community and are here solely to get you diploma. It has therefore been decided that all the seventh-years, regardless of house, will share one common room and dormitory specially set up for this year. And also those who feel they are being inconvenienced by being here will be granted the opportunity to live and study at home, and only return at the end of the year for their exams. Please come and see me after the feast if that is your wish. That is all. Let the sorting begin."

"We could all probably take the exams now if we wanted," Ron whispered as the first of many students were being sorted.

"Yes, but that would rob us of our last year at Hogwarts," Hermione whispered back.

"I'm not saying I don't want to be here. Of course I do!" Ron exclaimed, causing Hermione to hush him.

"I certainly want to complete my education properly." Harry mused, his eyes gliding over the familiar room. They landed quite unexpectedly on Draco Malfoy. He looked drawn and tired. He was sitting alone, Harry realized. Crabbe and Goyle weren't there at his side anymore. His mind went through all the events of the last year for the millionth time since Voldermort's defeat. He wondered how Draco was coping with everything; the loss of his friends, his family and practically everything that was his. Draco's role in the war was something few knew the true extent of, Harry being one of the few. He couldn't help but feel sorry for Draco, and a feeling of wanting to help him, to comfort him. His old hate of Draco had washed away over the last year, but he wasn't sure Draco had changed his feelings towards Harry. He made a silent promise to find out as soon as possible.

xxx

"Headmistress McGonagall, I-"

"Please reconsider Mr. Malfoy. I think it would do you a world of good to finish your education here. In fact I insist you do. At least give it some more thought. No point in making rash decisions." Draco didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to be close to...

"Fine. I'll stay," he said defeated. He felt too tired to protest. He always felt tired nowadays. After an exchange of goodbyes Draco made his way to his new common room. It felt odd, going upwards instead of down. On his way he decided to read book before he went to bed, it always helped clear his mind of unwanted thoughts, which plagued him constantly during the day. He finally found the secret entrance, and after mumbling the password he stepped inside. The room wasn't as spacious as the Slytherin common room. He immediately missed the green and silver of Slytherin. The room wasn't decorated in any specific house colour, but rather a mix of earth-colours, which didn't go over well with Draco at all. It was filled with comfortable looking chairs and couches in front of a large fireplace. A few tables and chairs were at the other end. There were three large windows there also were you could see the lake.

Draco made his way up the stairs to the dormitories, which were located straight in front of him and were very steep and winding. He quickly managed to locate his trunk and find his book, not caring to look around to read the names on the other trunks. He then made his way down again, wanting to sit by the fire and read. When he reached the bottom of the stairs however he stopped dead. Harry, Ron and Hermione where sitting in front of the fireplace and they all looked up when they heard him come down the stairs. At first Draco contemplated turning around and read in his bed, but he was freezing a little and wanted the warmth of the fire. He then thought about throwing some insults and then leaving, but that just didn't seem logical anymore. Again he felt too tired to get into an argument, so his chilliness won in the end. He walked over to where Harry was sitting alone on the couch opposite Ron and Hermione.

"Can I sit here?" He asked, trying not to sound to cold, his aristocratic manners kicking in automatically. He was after all interrupting them. Harry's eyes went wide in shock and Draco wanted to slap him for it suddenly. He sighed impatiently when no answer was forthcoming.

"Eh, sure." Harry answered finally. Draco sat as far away from Harry and as close to the fire as possible. He quickly started reading his book, frantically trying to ignore the stares given by the trio, but his mind for some reason kept coming back to the fact that he probably had never sat this close to Harry before. Finally Harry and the others seemed to be realizing it was impolite to stare, and they went back to their discussion, which was about how difficult their last year at Hogwarts would be, lessons wise.

"I'm going to bed," Hermione said after a few minuets. Harry and Ron said they would be stay up a while longer. After she left Draco again felt the unmistakable feeling of eyes on him. Soon he couldn't take it anymore and looked up to see Ron staring at him.

"Stop it, Weasel," he snapped. He hadn't meant to snap like that, and he hadn't meant to call him Weasle, but the nickname had come naturally from him, and it felt good. It felt normal and he wanted to insult him more so it would be just like old times. Ron just snorted.

"For a second there I actually thought you had developed manners," he laughed.

"You wouldn't know manners if they punched you in the nose and told you to shut up, which incidentally is what I will do if you don't stop talking to me." Yes, that definitely felt good. In fact Draco felt more invigorated every second Ron stared at him with distain.

"Just leave it, Ron. Let's go to bed." Harry's voice was calm and this made Draco angry, but before he could come up with a good insult the two had risen and made their way towards the stairs. Suddenly Draco was quite alone, and feeling just as tired and empty as before.

-:-

If you liked it please tell me, if you hated it you're welcomed to tell me that as well, but please actually give a good reason. Flames will be dealt with by a simply flame-freezing charm. ;-) I promise to get to the real slash soon, but I need some more character development now that Draco has changed so much after the war. So, yes he is and will be a little OOC.


	3. Midnight Memories

**Warning:** violence and language.

**Disclaimer:**See first chapter.

**Note**: Thank you for your reviews!!! They make me so so happy. I read that somebody would like to know more about Draco's role in the war, and I had planned to write a little about it in every chapter or so. Just a hint here or there, or maybe a dream like this chapter. The scene below is between Voldy (always love calling him that!) and Draco, just after the end of HBP.

-:-

"_No! No, don't hurt them! He's dead! The task was completed," damn you! _

_"Yes, Draco, but it wasn't you who fulfilled it now was it? I am afraid you are just as incompetent and disloyal as you dear father and mother. Lucius will be dealt with when we take Azkaban, but your mother will feel the effects of your failure. Now." No, I wont let you hurt her. I'll stop you. I'll kill you! "Are you going to be a good boy from now on Draco? Are you going to be loyal to me?" _

_"Yes, yes!" Just don't hurt her anymore! _

_"Liar, but there is one way to prove where your heart truly lies. You mother is a traitor, Draco. A blood-traitor. She never believed in our cause. Do you?" No! She never betrayed anyone! You torture her. You torture innocent people! "Are you a blood-traitor, Draco?" No, of course not, but why are you hurting her!?_

_"No." Or. I don't know anymore. I can't see anymore! I don't know. I don't know. I don't know! _

_"Then show your loyalty and kill her! All blood-traitors must die!" Are you crazy? She's done nothing wrong! Why is everything spinning? Just stop! _

_"No. Can't." _

_"Then you are a traitor." _

_"No!" You are the traitor. I see. Innocent! She's innocent. Just like everybody else. _

_"Then… kill… her." No, no, no, no, no, no! "Or I will."_

_"No! Please! She can't die! It wasn't her fault! She did nothing!" _

_"She was going to betray us all, Draco. Understand that, and say goodbye." NO! Mother! Wake up! No, no, no, not dead. This isn't happening. I'm not here. I'm not me. I'm not me. I'm not me. Wake up! _

_"Mother!" Her eyes are gone! _

_"I'm trying to teach you a lesson, Draco. I see you still haven't learnt it quite yet. Crucio!" Aaaaaaaaaah! _

"Draco! Draco, wake up for god's sake!" Draco suddenly snapped bolt upright, almost knocking Harry off the bed. He was drenched in sweat. His eyes were darting all over the room. He saw Harry sitting by his side, and Ron was standing by the corner of his bed, both looked terrified. It took a while before he recognized them.

"Fuck, Draco. Are you alright?" Ron asked, looking genuinely concerned. Draco was still breathing very heavily. He glanced back and forth between the two young men, confusion in his eyes.

"It's alright, Draco. You were having a nightmare. You were thrashing so hard we couldn't get near enough to wake you," Harry said, putting a reassuring hand on the blonde man's knee. Draco's eyes immediately fell on it, but he didn't flinch or swat it away. He just stared at it as if it was something completely unknown.

"Maybe you should go to Madam Pomfrey?" Ron asked cautiously. Harry nodded and started helping Draco out of his bed. Draco moved as if in a trance, like he didn't really understand what was happening. He was standing suddenly and Harry was drying his very sweaty bare chest with a towel. Draco's eyes followed every movement of Harry's hands. The dark haired man then carefully slipped Draco into his pyjama shirt, which he only wore in the mornings so he wouldn't be cold while brushing his teeth. The two men then took one arm of Draco's each and led him out of the room, Draco still not taking his eyes off Harry's hands as they led him down the corridor towards the Hospital Wing. When they entered the large room filled with white beds Ron ran off to get Madam Pomfrey. Harry didn't take his hand off Draco's arm. By now Draco's mind was in working order again, but he felt that if Harry knew that then those smooth hands wouldn't hold him anymore. Finally his conscience told him to speak.

"Thank you," he whispered. Harry didn't let go of Draco's arm. He just smiled and nodded.

xxx

"I am afraid the potion is only a short-term solution Mr. Malfoy." Madam Pomfrey declared in the morning when Draco had had a wonderful dreamless sleep. "You need to fix whatever is causing you to have nightmares. I will recommend you see Professor Gaarder. He will help you sort out your problems. Dumbledore has hired him especially this year for students dealing with war-related issues."

"You mean some sort of cracked head-doctor? No, thank you. I will not let my mind be analyzed and probed by some random stranger."

"I am afraid this is your only option. And I will not be giving you anymore potions until you agree to see him." Draco swore inwardly. He didn't want to let some professor into his mind. He never let anyone into his mind, let alone his dreams, but he knew he wouldn't be able to survive long without help from potions. He could agree to _see_ this man, but no one had said anything about opening up.

"Fine. Just give me a dose for tonight, please?"

-:-

I'm sorry it's rather sort, but it's 01:23 am and I'm so tired. But you can at least enjoy what I have written. The name Gaarder is Norwegion (but you can pronounce it Garder if you like because I think the aa sound is a but difficult in English) and he is my favourite Norwegian writer and a philosopher. I always feel that philosophy is a great way of reflecting on one's life and thereby deal with problems. That's why I gave the professor his name, and of course because I wanted a Norwegian wizard! (I have always wondered how many there are of them ;-)

Please tell me what you think!! Push the little button, yes!


	4. Draco's Habit

**Warning: **Language, yes I think there's some of that in there, but mild.

**Disclaimer:**See first chapter.

**Note**: Thank you all for the great reviews!! This time I put in an extra little scene I hadn't originally planned. But it gave me an opportunity to hint at some stuff about Draco and also let you see some other seventh-years. I couldn't remember any Slytherin names from the books that I could actually use. Crabbe and Goyle are not at Hogwarts and I'll leave it up to your imagination to guess where they might be. So the names are just random, except for Pansy's of course.

-:-

"It's so quiet all the time."

"Yeah, I know. It's weird. I mean we are four houses worth of seventh-years."

"Well, a lot of students got jobs last year and just didn't bother coming back, right?"

"Sure… but I bet there are other reasons why there are even fewer Slytherins here."

"Don't say that. That's horrible."

"But it's true. I'm not saying they're all in Azkaban. Some are probably dead."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to think about that."

"Fine. Suit yourself, but it's reality. No point in denying it."

Harry couldn't help overhear the conversation taking place on the other side of the common room. It was between a Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. They were trying to whisper, but the common room was, as the first had clearly stated, very quiet, and Harry could easily hear the entire discussion. Most of the students preferred to stay in the library or the house common rooms, which were not off limits to them, so the seventh-year common room was usually scarcely occupied at all.

"How many Slytherins are there left in seventh-year?" The Hufflepuff asked after a short silence.

"Well… there's Pansy… Helena… Jenna… and the one with the silvery hair?"

"Christy."

"Right… So mostly girls except for Robert, but he says he's thinking about going home, and of course there's Malfoy." Another silence ensued. Harry's ears were standing at attention for some reason. He wasn't paying attention to Ron or Hermione talking about their first homework assignments, but instead felt a strong urge to know what the two girls had to say about Draco.

"Do you think… I mean I heard my mother saying how he should have been sent to Azkaban with the rest, but the Ministry did let him go."

"I don't know. It's not like the Ministry's never made a mistake before. Think about it. Could he really have escaped from you-know-who? I think he was let go so he could supply false information to our side."

"But why would-"

"Just let me finish. I mean I don't know the details, but there is a strong feeling among a lot of people I know who agree… Malfoy should be rotting in Azkaban. I mean the guy practically killed Dumbledore himself! I think he's a Death Eater if I ever saw one! Shouldn't be allowed back to Hogwarts if you ask me. Evil as they get." Harry couldn't take it anymore. He got up, ignoring the quizzical looks from his friends, and walked straight over to the two girls sitting close together at a table filled with Charms homework. They both stared at him, and he stared back, but he had no idea what it was he had planned on telling them, if he ever had a plan. After a moment of awkward silence he abruptly started speaking. It all came out in a rush.

"He was declared innocent by the Ministry. That's all you need to know, and that's all that should matter to you. You don't know _anything_. Draco isn't anymore evil than… anybody!" He tried not to let his voice run away with him, but the anger was pretty evident. When he finished his little speech he turned on his heel and marched out of the common room, avoiding everyone's stares and Ron calling after him.

xxx

_Stupid Pomfrey making me see a quack. I'm not going. I'll come up with some excuse before Friday. I don't need help, I need… to be somewhere else._ Draco was wandering aimlessly down an empty corridor. He didn't even know which floor he was on, and he didn't really care. Walking always helped him during the day. _Like reading did last night_, he thought sarcastically. _Nothing helps. Not walking, not reading, not working. Nothing._ But he still didn't stop walking; in fact he walked faster down the hallway as if trying to walk away from his thoughts. He turned the corner almost at a run, and collided with something both hard and soft, and dark-haired. The two were knocked to the floor.

"Watch it will ya!" Draco yelled as he sat on the floor rubbing his side, which had taken most of the impact. He looked up to see Harry Potter already rising to his feet. The green eyes smiled apologetically at him for a moment, and that smooth hand reached out to him.

"Sorry, I, my- my fault. Didn't, wasn't paying attention." Harry was stuttering. Draco found he liked that quite a lot. He realized suddenly that perhaps there was something that would help. He put on his Malfoy scowl, something he hadn't used in a long time, but it still worked perfectly, and said in his most annoyed voice.

"I don't need your help, Potter. I think I can manage getting up. What's with you and helping people anyway? Thought you'd outgrow the hero-complex eventually. Guess I was wrong." He smiled smugly at himself for being so quick thinking as he got up and dusted himself off. Just like with Ron last night the insults made him feel better. _I feel like the old me._ Draco wanted Harry to insult him now, just like they used to, but the hero wasn't responding. Draco looked at Harry and saw a mixture of hurt and anger in the man's eyes. _Perhaps another insult will set you off?_

"What? Out here all by yourself? No fans running after you for your autograph? And what about your two most dedicated followers, Granger and the Weasle? Tired of hearing you talk about yourself all the time?" _Yes, yes, that felt good._ Draco actually sighed peacefully as he again let his smug smile spread across his face. _This is so much simpler than thinking about… everything. So much better to see Harry frown than smile. Much less complicated to._ Suddenly Harry reached out and grabbed Draco hard by his collar. Then he pushed the shocked blonde roughly against the nearby wall. Draco felt a stab of pain as his head hit the wall behind him. When he managed to focus again he saw Harry mere inches away from him, a look of pure anger glaring at him.

"You know what Draco?! Just drop it! You are such an _arse_! Do you really think your insults are anywhere near convincing?! You just do it out of habit if nothing else! If you really meant a word of what you just said you would at least have called Hermione a mudblood, but you can't even insult people properly anymore can you? I bet you can't even say the word anymore, can you Draco? Go on! Say mudblood just once! You can't. And you know what else? That's bloody _fine_, Draco! That's a good thing. Because you're not Draco Malfoy anymore! You don't have to be that kid anymore. You're just… just," Harry's face was starting to soften. He was breathing heavily. Draco's eyes were still wide with shock. He was also breathing deeply and was having trouble taking in everything that Harry was saying. "You're just Draco now. Deal with it." They were very close now, and Draco was becoming increasingly aware of that fact. He could have sworn that Harry's eyes glance down to his lips for a fraction of a second. Draco gulped quite audibly. Finally Harry let the other man go, taking a couple of steps back just to be on the safe side. They both stood staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Draco couldn't even begin to imagine what he would say to Harry, and the reality of Harry's speech was starting to sink in. Suddenly Draco just started walking away from Harry, faster and faster until he was running down the corridor. He didn't hear Harry follow, and he didn't care. He ran blindly down random corridors and up stairs to Merlin knows where. He ran until he fell to the floor exhausted. When he could breathe again he sat with his back against the wall. He looked around. He didn't even recognize where he was. _How dare he! How dare he presume to understand me, to know me, to be able to just lay it all out like it's nothing? Like it's the easiest thing in the world._ He was shaking with anger now. He hated Harry for everything he did to him. For being so right and so wrong and for making him feel so much. Draco didn't want to feel anymore. He didn't think his body would handle it, but Harry's words kept echoing in his mind. _Deal with it. _

"I can deal with it," Draco said aloud to himself, but he didn't sound very convincing. He did however decide it couldn't hurt to go and see that Gaarder chap on Friday. _But I'm not making any promises._

-:-

Hope you find this chapter… interesting? Exciting? Terrible? Why don't you tell me yourself! I had this whole chapter in my mind, but it didn't come out like that at all. Sometimes the characters just wont do what you want them to! But I think I liked what the characters did anyway ;-)


	5. Of Quiddith And Kicking The Habit

**Warning:** none in this chapter… sorry.

**Disclaimer**: see chapter one.

**Note**: Some may think this chapter is completely pointless, but I really felt the story needed it otherwise it would progress too fast. I mean Draco is seriously scarred after the war and isn't going to have one talk with Gaarder and then be able to jump Harry, proclaim his love and be happy. That wouldn't be much of a plot, would it? No, I'm afraid he still has a ways to go. Thanks for all the reviews. You guys are great! Keep 'em coming! Always love constructive criticism.

-:-

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy. Please, come in." The wizard that gestured for Draco to come in was Professor Gaarder, or so Draco presumed. The man was of strong build, about forty if Draco had to guess, and a few inches taller than Draco. He had a short, but thick brown beard with streaks of grey, and a receding hairline. The face was warm and round, and the eyes matched the hair. The clothes were really what Draco took note of because they were completely casual. In fact Draco found it quite strange that a professor would dress like that during school hours. The man wore a simple, obviously homemade green jumper and a pair of muggle blue jeans. Draco immediately thought that it must be some trick to get people to feel more _comfortable_. As if telling all your secrets to a complete stranger would be anything but horrible.

"Well? Come, come, sit down." Gaarder again gestured, this time towards a comfortable looking beige sofa. Draco took his time in walking over to it, taking in the rest of the room as he went. The office, which hadn't been used in years, was furnished with a sofa, table, chairs and a desk behind them against the wall opposite the door. The walls were otherwise covered either in bookshelves filled to the brim with large volumes or pictures of different groups of people, all muggle pictures so they didn't move. Draco sat down on the sofa, and Gaarder sat in one of the chairs.

"Professor…"

"Now, none of that. Just call me Gaarder. Everybody does. I may be a professor, but I'm not exactly teaching here at Hogwarts. I teach philosophy at a muggle university normally, but have several other degrees, both muggle and wizarding, including psychology from both." Gaarder's voice was reassuring, but Draco steeled himself against it. He regretted showing up to the appointment in the first place, and he was feeling extremely out of place. Gaarder didn't sound or look anything like any person Draco had ever had even a passing acquaintance with. Draco was sure he wouldn't be able to trust Gaarder as far as he could throw him, but Gaarder seemed to read his thoughts.

"I assure you, Mr. Malfoy. Draco, if I may? Dumbledore and I go way back and he has hired me for this specific task, which I have quite a bit of experience in. And let me also assure you that you do not have to say anything or do anything in this room you do not want to. I am here to help," he said with a smile. Draco didn't like this Gaarder person. He didn't like him at all. He was feeling ridiculous and that made him feel childish, something he didn't care for either.

"In that case I don't feel like saying anything." Draco finally managed to get out. He tried his Malfoy sneer, but Gaarder was looking at him in such a way that all he could do was try to avoid the man's gaze. He felt suddenly very naked. Then Gaarder smiled again, and it made Draco feel just a little bit less nervous.

"Don't worry, Draco. We'll just talk about other things to pass the time. Wouldn't want you to get in trouble with Madam Pomfrey after all?" Draco raised his eyebrows. Maybe this Gaarder chap wasn't so bad. _Then again it's most likely another trick._ But Draco couldn't very well leave, otherwise Pomfrey was sure to find out and not give him anymore potion for his nightmares.

"Like what?" Draco asked, feeling himself give in.

"Anything. What are some of your interests for example?" Gaarder leaned back in his chair, his hand gesturing to the air between them as if Draco could just pull topics off some invisible shelf. _Interests? _thought Draco. He wasn't sure he had any. He hadn't exactly had time for any last year. In the end he landed on Quiddith, something he was sure wouldn't lead to any other subjects too easily. Gaarder quickly started up a conversation and Draco soon found himself intrigued by the man's knowledge of the game. He was quite shocked to learn that Gaarder had played a seeker himself in his school days, something Draco never would have guessed from just looking at the man. When Gaarder asked if Draco was going to be on the team this year Draco was stumped for an answer. He hadn't really considered it. But the discussion soon awoke a yearning in Draco he hadn't felt in a long time. He felt his fingertips tingling for the touch of his broom again. When his hour was up he found himself walking back to the common room feeling more elated than he had in over a year. Indeed it was most likely the first conversation he had had in over a year that didn't evoke dread, or the memory of dread. His euphoria however, would be short-lived.

When he reached the seventh-year common room he found it unusually crowded. There were several Hufflepuffs sitting at a table working, and a couple of Ravenclaws playing chess in front of the fire. He also saw Pansy sitting with a fellow Slytherin girl who abruptly stopped talking when he entered. It seemed the seventh-years were starting to get used to having a shared common room, and many of them had chosen that particular evening to start using it properly. As Draco crossed the room almost at a run he felt all eyes on him. As he disappeared up the stairs he faintly hear Pansy's voice echoing up to him.

"He should be in St. Mungo's instead of Azkaban if you ask me." Draco slammed the door to the dorm shut behind him. He stood still awhile, his hands pressed against the door. He wished he hadn't agreed to stay at Hogwarts. He wished he didn't have to feel them looking at him all the time like he would suddenly start shouting out his loyalty to Voldermort or something. At the same time he knew it shouldn't matter. That the Ministry had declared him innocent and that he should just ignore them. He couldn't however ignore the screaming voice inside him: _I should have been sent to Azkaban! I should have died the night Dumbledore died. I should have died in the last fight. I should have died for mother. I should have died… I should be dead. I should- _

"Draco?" His whole body spun around in surprise. He knew the voice before he saw the owner. Harry was sitting on his bed, alone, with a book in his lap and a quill in his hand.

"Hey," Draco answered, his voice strangely scratchy as if he had been screaming. "Where's Weasley?" He asked as he glanced about the room to check if they really were alone. The dorm was almost identical to Draco's old dorm in sixth-year, except for the colours, which were the same earth tones as the common room, and of course the windows. He was sharing the room with Ron, Harry, Robert and Neville. Dean already had a job somewhere in America, and the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaw boys had their own rooms. Seamus had gone missing during the war.

"In the Gryffindor common room with Hermione and Neville. I wanted somewhere I could study alone so I thought our common room would work, but as you probably noticed it was unusually crowded. So I came here. Couldn't be bothered to go to the library I guess. Where've you been?"

"Nowhere," Draco said a little more forcefully than he had intended. He most certainly didn't want Harry to know he was seeing Gaarder, twice a week now on Tuesdays and Fridays.

"Ok. Really not my business anyway. Sorry." Harry sounded more apologetic than was really necessary. "Just forget I asked." _Right,_ thought Draco. _He doesn't want me to insult him or get angry. Fine. I wont. I can deal with this._ He took a few tentative steps towards the centre of the room. His mouth opened and closed a few times. Draco realized he didn't have the faintest idea of how to be around Harry if he wasn't throwing insults or jinxes. During the war they had been together of course, but that had been forced, in a way, and it wasn't as if they had ever shared a normal conversation during that period. After the speech Harry had given him Draco had calculatedly avoided Harry, and everybody else for that matter. He just didn't trust himself to be this "just Draco" person Harry had talked about.

"I…" he began, but couldn't think of a single thing to say. Harry, who had started writing in the margins of his book, looked up, his eyebrows raised expectedly.

"Yes?" His voice sounded hopeful. Draco stared into Harry's eyes for a long moment.

"Nothing," Draco heard himself say. Harry looked disappointed, but said nothing and went back to his book. Draco cursed himself for being so pathetic. _How the hell does one make friends with Harry Potter? I've never been able to do it before. Why should this time be any different? _Draco was at a loss. He couldn't impress Harry, that was for certain. He couldn't intimidate him, that was even more certain. And how could he possibly just be nice to him? _I don't know how._ Harry was looking at him again, having noticed that Draco hadn't stopped staring. Carefully Harry slipped off the bed and came towards Draco. Draco's breath caught at the sudden closeness. There was a look in Harry's eyes Draco couldn't quite place.

"Are you alright, Draco?" His voice was soft.

"I don't know," Draco answered truthfully, unable to lie to those emerald green eyes.

"Draco… I wanted to say I'm sorry for that night I ran into you. I didn't mean to be so harsh. I mean I know what you must be going through, and it's not up to me to push you or anything. I'm sorry." _Great. I insult him and he's sorry. What will he do next?_ Draco suppressed the old urge to let the annoyed tone get into his voice, and he found it easier than the last time. In fact his voice came out as soft as Harry's had been. He'd kicked the habit so to speak.

"Don't be silly. It was my fault. I just… was clinging to the past. The old rivalry. Old habits die hard and all that, right? Besides…" _He knows what I'm going through? And what about him? When did I become the emotional one? Why does he have to be so noble all the time? Never complaining about his own problems is he? Wonder if he's seeing Gaarder? Probably not. Dealt with everything on his own I bet. Harry doesn't need that kind of help. _Draco was letting his thoughts run away with him as he was drowning in Harry's eyes. He was roused from his trance when Harry said his name.

"Listen, Draco. Do you think we could be friends? I mean… it seems so silly to me that we're both were on the same side in the war, are now in the same dorm, both been through so much… why don't we just put the past behind us?" Harry's voice was so full of hope Draco almost embraced him right then, but he didn't of course. He wouldn't let himself be that emotional yet. He managed to shrug.

"Sure, why not? But that wont stop me from kicking your arse in Quiddith." Harry laughed at this, and it made Draco's insides flutter. He had never made Harry laugh like that before. Draco decided he had to try it as often as he could.

"Likewise, my friend," Harry laughed and winked. Draco wanted to smile as well, but it was as if he wasn't quite ready yet. He was glad he and Harry were friends, but there was still so much… wrong with him. Harry, the ever understanding one, seemed to pick up on this, and said goodnight before leaving for the bathroom for a late shower. Draco's mind wondered quite on it's own if Draco shouldn't take a shower too, but only for a moment before a more rational, or delusional depending on your point of view, part of his brain decided there was no point, as he had just taken a shower that morning. He quickly got ready for bed, remembering to take the potion Madam Pomfrey had supplied him, and was soon drifting into peaceful sleep long before Harry got back.

-:-

I've been thinking a lot about the title of this story, and I'm not happy. The way things are going the chapters seemed to be going more and more off track from my original idea. All my stories have a tendency to do that, but now I'm wondering if I shouldn't change the title. I guess I'll just have to wait for the ending, which is becoming increasingly difficult to predict. Any suggestions are welcomed of course. Do you guys like happy or sad endings? This was going to be a real angsty fic, but I realized I absolutely hate writing angsty fics! There will be a bit more angst of course, a lot if you want it, and also depending how long it is going to be, which again is becoming hard to predict. Need criticism!


	6. Lucius' Son

**Warning:** None I'm afraid… I guess a lot of spoilers for HBP, but I hope none of you really need that warning ;-)

**Disclaimer:** See first chapter.

**Note:** Hope you all like this chapter. Thank you all so much for the reviews!! I take all your suggestions to heart, but of course I can't promise anything.

**Note 2:** I had some trouble with the word team-mate because my computer kept wanting me to correct it, and even after I corrected it to teammate, like the computer actually suggested, and then to team mate like it also suggested, it still wanted me to correct it (back to team-mate!). Combined words are difficult for me because in Norwegian you can take any two words and just slap them together to create a new one. That's why, according to Guinness book of records, our longest word is _minoritetsladningsbærerdiffusjonskoeffisientmålingsapparaturene, _which is made out of 7 words (it is a real word, not just nonsense). Lol. So what is correct? Team mate, teammate or team-mate? Sorry, I digress: On with the chapter!

-:-

The sun shone brightly as Draco made his way across the grounds towards the Quiddith pitch. Because of the year everyone had been absent all the former members of the team had to try out again just like everybody else, except the captain appointed by the head of house. The new captain of the Slytherin team was a sixth-year named Michael Prewett, one of Draco's former team-mates and a chaser. Draco took a deep breath as he approached the boy standing by the pitch looking up at several students showing off on their brooms. Before Draco could say anything however the boy spotted him.

"Malfoy. What are you doing here?" Michael said with obvious contempt. Draco decided to ignore the tone.

"I'm here to try out of course," Draco said, indicating the broom in his hand. "I think I'm still a pretty good seeker. My broom is still one of the best. The team could use me." Draco tried to sound more optimistic than he was, and not condescending. Michael snorted.

"I'm sorry, Malfoy. We already have a seeker," Michael answered with a sneer.

"Really? Who?"

"You'll have to wait for the first match to see." Michael turned back to the pitch and shouted for a couple of the students to come down. He told them they hadn't made the team, but to try again next year. Unfortunately for Draco, he didn't have a next year. He grabbed Michael's shoulder and turned him around.

"I really think you should consider letting me try out."

"I said no, Malfoy," Michael said more forcefully, swatting away Draco's hand. "Your father isn't here to bride your way onto the team anymore I'm afraid. Why don't you go join him? He's where all Malfoys belong now." Draco's eyes went wide with shock.

"My father didn't bribe anybody for me! He supplied the brooms after I made the team. You should know since you got your own broom from him a good year after I became seeker! And correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you still using it?" Michael looked as though he was unable to come up with a response at first, but he quickly composed himself and sneered at Draco.

"No point in wasting a good broom just because it was a gift from a Malfoy. Now, bugger off!" Draco knew it was useless so he trudged back up to the castle. He wanted to hit something, or preferably someone. Quiddith was something he was good at, something he had taught himself as a child. His father certainly hadn't given him any lessons. He had wanted so bad to have something to do outside of schoolwork that could get his mind off everything. As he reached the common room his anger decided to break free. He punched the wall just as he entered. He didn't say anything, or cry out as he felt his knuckles start to bleed, but the sound had been loud enough for the trio sitting by the fire to look up.

"Draco?" Harry got up and came over to him. Draco's fist was still pressed into the stone archway that led out of the common room. He knew he couldn't be around anyone at that moment, especially Harry, who he would no doubt let his anger out on. He slowly removed his fist from the wall. Harry grabbed it.

"You're bleeding. What on earth did you do that for?" Draco pulled his hand away from Harry without looking at him.

"Let go. Just… bugger off. Leave me alone," he said as he pushed past Harry and walked hurriedly across the room and up the stairs. Harry stood lost for words for a few seconds, then made his way back to Ron and Hermione by the fire.

"What's his problem?" Ron asked. Harry had told them that he and Draco had put everything behind them and become friends, though Ron had taken some convincing.

"Isn't it obvious?" Hermione looked from Ron to Harry, neither looked as if it had been obvious. "Didn't you notice the broom in his hand? He must have gone to try out for the Slytherin team and obviously he either didn't make it or… they wouldn't let him." Comprehension dawned in Harry's face.

"Draco's a good seeker. Better than most give him credit for. I bet they wouldn't let him."

"Why wouldn't they let him?" Ron asked, still a bit confused.

"Because, Ron. The Slytherins whose families didn't take part in the war, or worked for the good side, don't want anything to do with people like Draco. People they aren't sure about. The Malfoy name is a burden now with Lucius still in Azkaban. The Slytherins want to rid themselves of a bad reputation they feel they have born long enough," Hermione enlightened them.

"Yeah, by acting like a right bunch of-"

"Harry," Hermione cut off his insult. "Maybe you should talk to him. Remind his that he does in fact have friends here."

"A friend," Ron mumbled, but was heard nonetheless.

"Ron," Hermione said sternly.

"What? I'm not saying I'll be mean… just that I, eh… need to get to know the guy better."

"Well, I certainly have no qualms about being friends with Draco."

"What! But all those time he called you a-,"

"That is in the past, Ron. And if I can forgive him that then you definitely should try and be friends with him." By the tone in Hermione's voice the conversation was as good as over, but Harry didn't go up to the dormitory.

"I don't think he'll want to talk right now. He'll want to be alone." The trio returned to their homework, but Harry's eyes kept on drifting towards the stairs to the dormitories, and his mind kept imagining ways of comforting Draco, but none seemed good enough.

xxx

"Don't you want to talk about something other than Quiddith, Draco? I feel we have exhausted the subject." Draco shifted uneasily in the sofa. He had known the question would come eventually, and he had both dreaded and longed for it. He knew he couldn't keep coming to their meetings and never talk about anything else.

"But I like Quiddith, and I'm good at it," Draco tried.

"But you didn't make the team?" Draco's eyes shot up into Gaarder's.

"How do you know that?" Gaarder smiled that reassuring smile of his.

"I made it a priority to know. Why do think Prewett didn't let you on the team?" Draco rolled his eyes at this and leaned back in the sofa.

"Isn't it obvious? Because I'm my father's son and therefore deserve to rot in Azkaban with the rest of the Death Eaters!"

"Is that something you believe yourself?" Draco stared at Gaarder with a dumbstruck expression. After a while it softened and he looked unsure.

"No, of course not. They're just being… careful."

"Careful? I thought they were jumping to crazy conclusions. How many are alive that know your story, Draco? How many are free?" Draco sighed. He felt so tired suddenly, and thought that perhaps it was time. _Maybe it will feel better if I go through it all again… somehow._

"I guess no one really knows all of it. The wizards at my trial know most of it. But they wouldn't let me explain it my way. They kept asking stupid questions. And didn't even give me veritaserum. In the end they didn't believe half of what I said… so it all came down to one crucial point." Draco stopped, his mind travelled back over all the events of the last year. He sighed again. Gaarder waited patiently for Draco to continue.

"In the end… Dumbledore's death became the point of debate. How much I was… involved. The Ministry was rather terrible when it came to gathering information about that night. Then Harry came and saved the day, and my life. He told the Ministry it wasn't my fault. Never knew he could lie so well."

"So you believe you were responsible? Why do you think Harry would lie for you?"

"I don't know… he didn't. In a way he believed I was innocent. That I did what I did because of my mother. And that in the end it was Severus Snape that killed him. I'm not so sure. I guess maybe Harry thinks I somehow made up for it with all the stuff I did during the war. Maybe he's more crazy than I am."

"Your mother. Do you want to tell me about her?"

"What's there to tell? Just another murder on my hands. Tortured and killed right in front of me and I did nothing."

"Was it Voldermort who killed her?" Draco again shifted uneasily at the mention of the name, but still nodded. "Then you couldn't really have done anything to save her." Draco's head shot up to glare at Gaarder.

"I could have died trying!" He yelled. Gaarder held up his hands and said in a calm voice.

"Then she would have died in vain. Tell me what you did after that. Tell me about your role in the war." Draco sighed yet again; he liked doing that, and started to calm down.

"I don't remember much immediately after her death. You-know-who kept teaching me _lessons_. I have a lot of memory loss due to the torture. He kept me as a pet really. Maybe he wanted to make me into the ideal Death Eater by shaping me from a young age. Maybe he just wanted to have some fun. Luckily for me that I am my father's son."

"How do you mean?"

"My father trained me in the Dark Arts since I was a boy. And other things he knew would be useful. Occlumency being one of them. During my childhood I took more strange potions and learned more spells than I can even remember. I managed, though very slowly, to convince you-know-who that I was again ready to do his bidding."

"But you didn't. You escaped?"

"No, not right away. I worked against him in secret. Little things at first. Then I grew… bolder. I even faked the deaths of a group of muggles I was sent to kill." This was said without a hint of emotion. The words just flowed out as if it wasn't really him speaking, or remembering.

"So you stayed with Voldermort because you knew you could do more good there. And if you died no one would ever know which side you were really on. You would be remembered a Death Eater forever."

"No, I didn't think about that. I wasn't being noble. I don't know why I stayed."

"I think you are too hard on yourself."

"You don't know anything. I was scared to death all the time. I was too afraid to escape. And when they started talking about a traitor in their midst. It was only then that I left. Joined the Order. Fought with Harry... He was the only one who ever really believed my story. But I stayed out of cowardice."

"You stayed as long as you could because it was the right thing to do. And then you told the good side everything you knew. The information must have been of great help. McGonagall told me it helped in Voldermort's downfall."

"She exaggerates. Landed quite a few in Azkaban after the war though." Draco was speaking very quietly. He felt drained. Gaarder stood up.

"I think you must be tired. Go and get some sleep. I want you to think about the peril you put yourself in for staying with the Death Eaters when you were working against them. I don't think you stayed out of cowardice. We'll talk more on Tuesday." Draco nodded and left, walking slowly down the corridor. He didn't think telling Gaarder had helped. In fact he was sure he felt worse. Then again Gaarder probably wanted to know even more. _Maybe it'll help in the long run_, he thought as he drifted into another dreamless sleep, thanks again to Madam Pomfrey.

-:-

Oh, no! I just realized I made a terrible mistake. Well, maybe not that terrible. It was about Gaarder and Dumbledore. In the last chapter he said he was hired by Dumbledore, but of course it was McGonagall I meant. I guess that just shows how completely in denial I am over HBP.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Now you know a little bit more about Draco's role in the war. I hadn't originally planned to have anywhere near that much information, so a lot I had to come up with as I wrote the chapter. Hope it isn't too unrealistic. Next chapter will be much more angsty I think.


	7. Lucius' Letter

**Warning:** language and violence.

**Disclaimer**: See first chapter.

**Note:** Finally I get to write the chapter that I had in my mind when I first started writing this little fic. I promise you that the next chapter will explain many of the things that happen here, so don't worry if you have some questions. I am starting at university again tomorrow so I have no idea when I'll be able to write what is most likely going to be the last chapter. Sorry! But I wont keep you waiting too long hopefully.

**Note 2:** I also decided to rename this story! I finally landed on a new title I think is much better. Hopefully it goes better with the story as well. ;-)

-:-

"Why don't you tell me about Harry Potter, Draco?" Draco's eyes shot up to meet Gaarder's. The man had a tendency to look so innocent when Draco was doing his best to glare at him that it was quite impossible to get angry. Draco sighed and looked at his hands again.

"Why do you want me to talk about him?"

"Because whenever you talk about the war you mostly talk about episodes before you joined the Order. And if you do talk about that period you usually leave out those concerning Harry. I was wondering what the reason behind it is." Draco sighed again, he had been doing that a lot lately, and resigned himself to his fate, which was to bare his soul to this man, but he didn't want to go down without a fight.

"There is nothing to say. The boy, man now, believed my story, welcomed me to fight beside him, saved my life during the Last Battle, and now he's my friend. Well, I'm not so sure about that part."

"Not sure because you think he's lying when he says he's your friend, or not sure because you don't want to be _his_ friend?" _How does he do that every time? _Draco shook his head, unwilling to answer. _He always manages to ask just the right questions doesn't he? _

"I… I don't know. No, I do. I mean I know Harry would never lie. The man's incapable, probably. I just…"

"You're not sure you want to be his friend?"

"It's not that. Of course I want to be his friend. I… just don't know!" Gaarder waited patiently, as always, for Draco's breathing to return to normal before he continued.

"I think, Draco, that you should allow yourself to explore your feelings towards Harry. Contemplate what they are, and how they affect your relationship with him."

"I do that all the time, but it doesn't help. I can't think straight when I think of him."

"Try saying your thoughts aloud. I find that thinking aloud is a great way to sort through problems. It always seems like there is someone else there explaining them to you. Pretend I'm not here and just start talking." Draco looked sceptical for a moment, but decided Gaarder hadn't steered him wrong yet so it might help. He closed his eyes, but then thought better of it and looked at the table in front of him.

"I guess I should start at the beginning. Before. Everything. There was always something there I think. Lurking underneath my hatred of him. And I did hate him. Oh, yes I did. And every year he would always find some new way of getting all the attention. And I just _couldn't_ imagine why he would crave it so bad. Then fourth year came, and Cedric died and everything changed. You-know-who was back, my father informed me. Told me it would be his proudest moment when I took the Mark. I was scared shitless. I dreaded it, who wouldn't? Of course I wanted to show my father I was a true Malfoy. But You-know-who was lurking around every corner it seemed and I was scared, and it wasn't even me he wanted! It was Harry! And do you think the guy even batted an eyelash? No! I wanted to pee in my pants every day and he just walked about, shouting the Dark Lords name as often as he could. Declaring it like it was just any old news in the middle of classes. I hated him then for his _Gryffindor_ courage. And then… when I showed up at the Order. Bloody, filthy. He was there. I think… it was like waking up. Like this thing inside me had just surfaced and was shouting at me to look it in the eye. And then he saved my life. The bastard. When I should have died, I was brought back, by him. I see him everywhere now, more than before, or maybe I'm just more conscious of it than before. Merlin!" Draco exclaimed, burying his head in his hands, trying to stifle the sobs that were threatening to escape. "I think I love him," his voice was barely more than a whisper. "And not the friendship kind either. God. And he just wants to be my friend. For _once_. And I have to go fuck it up, just like the first time." Gaarder didn't say anything. Draco shook slightly from suppressed sobs. There was a long silence.

"Gaarder?" Draco voice was muffled by his hands.

"Yes, Draco?"

"Do you think this could be my break-through?" Gaarder's lips curled in a smile.

"I don't know Draco. I think you've known your feelings for Harry a long time, but I'm glad you are able to express them. You have come far, but there are still things you need to move past."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that you still feel you should be dead. That you blame yourself for things out of your control. Don't worry, Draco. You're not going to have to come see me forever." Draco nodded slowly and looked up. Just then a tapping noise was heard from the only window in Gaarder's office. Both men turned their heads and saw that a large, grey and very old owl was seeking entrance. Gaarder quickly got up and let it in. It flew in and landed on the table in front of Draco. Draco saw that the small envelope in its beak had his name on it. He took it and the owl flew off immediately. He turned the letter over in his hands, no return address, and then studied his name again.

"Do you know who it is from?" Gaarder asked, seating himself again.

"It's… from my father." Draco tried to remain calm, but his shaking hands betrayed him.

"I thought he was in Azkaban's maximum security ward? They aren't allowed to send letters."

"I know. He is."

"Perhaps you would like to read it on your own? Our time is up anyway." Draco nodded and got up to leave, his eyes never straying from his name in his father's familiar handwriting. He left Gaarder's office without another word.

xxx

_What on earth could he possibly want to say to me?_ Draco thought for the tenth time that night. He was sitting in an unused classroom not far from the seventh-year common room. He sat on the floor, staring at the letter, unopened, lying in front of him. _And why would the Ministry allow him to send letters? Probably bought some good treatment with some information of where the last Death Eaters could be hiding out. Still… why send a letter to me? _In the end he decided it was pointless to sit and think about it when the answer was most likely in the letter. He gathered his courage, prepared to read a very unflattering letter describing his betrayal, and grabbed the letter. He ripped it open and saw that it was even shorter than he had expected.

_My Dearest Son. _

_I have been granted this opportunity to send you one last letter. Do not worry about me. I am fine. You however are a disgrace to the name of Malfoy. I would kill you on the spot if I ever laid my eyes upon you again, but you need not be afraid. Perhaps one day you will prove your usefulness despite your unwillingness to die for the cause. I will wait in the depths of despair for news of your return to glory. _

_Lucius Malfoy. _

Draco frowned at first. He didn't much understand the letter at all. His father must have gone insane in Azkaban. It was the only logical solution. But the letter had an almost eerie _timelessness_ to it. Like Lucius couldn't have written it in Azkaban at all. As for being a disgrace to the name of Malfoy, Draco was not surprised. At first he wanted to laugh at the pathetic insult, but then he froze. There was strange rumbling in the pit of his stomach, like he was hungry. Slowly it started spreading throughout his body to the very tips of his fingers. _Why would he send this?_ But Draco's thoughts were interrupted by a surge of emotion that overwhelmed all his senses. He felt only an incredible urge to make his father proud. _Disgrace? No. Return to glory. Return to glory. Return to glory._ He started chanting it. He wanted nothing more than to do whatever was necessary. The folded the letter neatly and stuffed it in his pocket. He then swiftly got up and left the room in a flurry of robes.

On his way to his destination he continued his chant. He felt his legs propelled as if by an invisible force. He felt exhilarated, and powerful. His vision felt blurry and yet clearer than ever at the same time. He had a mission, but he wasn't exactly sure what it was. It was like remembering a dream, just out of reach, but he didn't care. He spoke the password loud and clear and entered the common room. No one was there as it was past midnight. His eyes came to rest on the stairs leading up to the dormitories. All of a sudden it was like a loud bell had chimed in his head and he understood perfectly. It was so simple he almost laughed out loud. _Make father proud. Kill Harry Potter._

xxx

Harry was dreaming very peacefully. He saw himself riding a broom in front of a crowd, who saw him purely as a Quiddith player and nothing more. A very common dream for Harry. Then another, slightly newer, but now just as common element of the dream appeared. Draco Malfoy rode on a broom beside him and they were evenly match and both trying to get the snitch. Draco laughed as they flew faster and faster across the pitch, making Harry's heart flutter.

"STUPEFY!" Harry's eyes snapped open and he almost instantaneously jumped to his knees and pulled the curtains of his bed back. What he saw was quite shocking. Ron was lying unconscious on the floor beside his bed, clearly having been knocked out of it by the force of the spell. Harry's eyes shifted to the door where Draco Malfoy stood pointing his wand at Ron's bed.

"Damn, wrong bed!" He hissed before his eyes landed of Harry. Before Harry even had time to think his body reacted for him. He turned as he lay down on the bed and rolled off it away from the door while at the same time grabbing his wand on the bedside table. He was just in time too, for as he hit the floor a red spark rushed pass overhead. He heard Draco's steps coming into the room and round to where he was laying. Harry couldn't think, didn't have time to, and simply started crawling under his bed as fast as he could. Almost his whole body was underneath it when he felt Malfoy grab hold of his feet. He managed to crawl back out a little and pull his leg to him before kicking Malfoy firmly in the stomach. The man lost his grip on Harry's other leg and started gasping for air. Harry took the opportunity to crawl all the way under the bed and out, quickly getting up on the other side and bolting to the door. He turned just as his foot hit the first step on the stairs and looked back to see if Malfoy followed.

"Stupefy!" Harry cried, but his aim was poor as he was busy running down the stairs. When he reached the common room he again looked back to make sure Malfoy was following. Just as Malfoy came into view at the bottom of the stairs, still clutching his stomach, Harry reached the entrance to the common room.

"Come and get me, Malfoy!" He shouted before he ran out of the room and down the hallway. Soon he could hear Malfoy following, along with several hexes that only just missed him every time he turned a corner. _Where to lead him? Away from the rest of the students. He seems to only want me._ Harry thought desperately at he searched his brain for a place he could turn and fight. But just as he had decided to lead him down to the Great Hall the footsteps behind him ceased. He turned sharply around and found the corridor behind him empty. _Fuck. Where is he?_ Harry could only think on what to do. He couldn't let his brain deal with the reasons behind it. He kept thinking: _Where would Malfoy go?_ It was impossible to think it was Draco. Somehow Harry's mind refused to even consider it. All he knew was that he needed to find _Malfoy_ and stop him. The explanations would have to be saved for later.

"Ron!" He suddenly pounced back into action. He wasn't sure if Malfoy had returned there, but he needed to check on Ron and the others so he ran as fast as he could back the way he came. When he reached the bedroom he was panting for breath. All the other boys were gone, even Ron, and Harry saw there had been a struggle. The curtains on Ron's bed were torn to pieces. Harry feared the worst, but since there weren't any dead bodies he knew he must still have a chance. Then his eyes fell on his own bed and a small note. He rushed over and picked it up. What he read were two words that made his very soul grow cold.

_Astronomy Tower. _

Harry ran as fast as he could towards the tower. He was sure his legs would give out as he climbed the steep spiral staircase, but somehow he managed. He burst through the door and nearly stumbled out onto the ramparts. He whirled around, brandishing his wand, as he heard the door slam closed behind him. In front of him stood Malfoy, his own wand pointed at Harry's heart. Ron was only a heap of limbs on the floor. Harry could clearly see Ron's leg was broken, and at least a few ribs must be cracked. The blood was already flowing towards Harry.

"Malfoy! What the _hell!_? Have you completely lost your mind?!" Harry practically screamed. He was afraid, and very aware that he was standing in a position very similar to the one Dumbledore had been in not too long ago. Malfoy didn't seem to be able to hear him. His face was contorted in what looked like a cross between pure anger and absolute pain. The hand holding his wand was shaking violently. Harry could have sworn he heard the word "_No"_ through Malfoy's gritted teeth. Finally Malfoy's mouth opened, as if someone had pried it open, and Malfoy's eyes went wide. He started saying a curse slowly, the same curse he should have been able to say the last time he pointed a wand at someone atop the Astronomy Tower.

"Avada-"

"STUPEFY!" Harry had had more than enough time to produce the red spark, but it hadn't been the only spell to hit Malfoy. At the same time the door had swung open and Malfoy had been hit with four different spells which all sent him tumbling to the floor. In the doorway stood McGonagall and Gaarder, along with Hermione and Neville, all of them with their wands raised.

"Harry! Are you alright?" McGonagall was at his side, but Harry couldn't take his eyes off the unconscious Malfoy. Hermione rushed to Ron's side.

"Professor! He needs help! I don't think he's breathing." Harry didn't think Draco was breathing either. He bent down and checked the blonde's pulse. It was very faint.

-:-

So? Was it exciting? I'm always afraid that I make action scenes boring. Please tell me if you liked it! Next chapter will hopefully explain it all.

Remember: Every time you review _your_ own favourite slash couple take one step closer to becoming canon!! ;-)


	8. The Explanation

**Warning:** none, except perhaps a head-ache from trying to understand my explanation!

**Disclaimer**: see first chapter.

**Note**: Well here is the how and why Lucius sent the letter and how it affected Draco. Hope this makes a little sense at least. Please tell me what you think! (A nice thing to remember is that in one of Draco's session with Gaarder Draco tells him that his father made him drink many strange potions and learn strange spells he can't even remember. Just a reminder ;-) Also we finally learn why Draco reacted so strangely to Harry's hands in the third chapter: Midnight Memories. Enjoy and please review!!!

-:-

Harry was sitting in a chair by one of the hospital beds staring into space. Ron was sleeping one bed over, his right leg bandaged along with his chest. In the bed Harry was sitting by lay an unconscious Draco Malfoy. He didn't have any bandages, but he hadn't woken up since the incident atop the Astronomy Tower. Harry had been in the Hospital Wing as often as he could for the last three days. Ron was mending, though slowly because Madam Pomfrey couldn't safely identify what kind of spell was used on Ron's leg. Harry sighed and took Draco's hand in his, something he found himself doing more and more during his time by the blonde's bed.

Harry's thoughts drifted back to the morning after the incident. He had been worried about both Ron and Draco. Hermione had been there too and Madam Pomfrey had been running back and forth between the two badly hurt students.

xxx

"Are they going to be ok?" Hermione pleaded. Madam Pomfrey didn't answer, but continued working feverishly. They were forced to leave, but returned after a few hours. Pomfrey informed them that Ron would be fine, but it would take some time. Draco's condition was serious. His system had been overloaded by many spells, and in combination with the strange spell that was already working on him, she wasn't sure if he would wake up.

"What spell?" Harry stared at Draco, willing him to wake up and explain.

"I'm not sure. Something mind-altering that's all I can tell right now. McGonagall and Gaarder are looking into it." Suddenly Draco's eyes shot open and he sat up. Harry rushed over to him and held his shoulders. He tried to look into Draco's eyes, but it was as if they were looking right past him. Then Draco looked down onto Harry's arms and hands. Madam Pomfrey was beside them, her wand waving over Draco as she tried to diagnose him.

"He's not awake. I think he's still… dreaming."

"Those hands… I've seen them before." Draco's voice was a strange sound. It contained no emotion, and yet it sounded oddly pleading. "They saved me… those hands. I remember. They wouldn't let me go. Go to death." Draco's hands moved to take one of Harry's in his own. His movements were sluggish.

"Draco? _Draco?"_ Harry cried, but let Draco hold his hand.

"He can't hear you," Madam Pomfrey said as she walked to a nearby closet for something.

"I was falling, but they dragged me up… they… Harry." Before Madam Pomfrey could return with a dreamless-sleep potion Draco had dropped back down on the bed, his eyes closed and his breathing slow just as if nothing had happened. Harry had seated himself beside Draco then, and Hermione by Ron. Neither of them spoke much, and Hermione didn't question Harry's choice to sit by Draco. It made sense in a way, that both men had someone to sit by him.

xxx

"Mr. Potter?" Harry was roused from his memory and looked up to see Gaarder standing in front of him. Harry hadn't been to see the man, but he had seen him often enough in the corridors to recognize him.

"Call me Harry," He said rather weakly. He hated anybody calling him Mr. Potter, especially if that person wasn't one of his teachers.

"If you wish. Call me Gaarder. Could I have a word Harry?"

"Sure, but I'm not leaving the Hospital Wing." Gaarder nodded and quickly found a chair and sat down in front of Harry. They were alone except for their sleeping or unconscious companions. Hermione had finally left to do some work that morning when Ron had been fit enough to eat breakfast.

"I thought perhaps you would like an explanation?" Harry looked quizzically at Gaarder for a moment. "For Draco's behaviour," Gaarder explained.

"You know why he… did all that stuff?" Harry was reluctant to say "_tried to kill me._"

"Yes, at least I have a good idea. It took a while, but I think we have managed to piece this puzzle together. Draco received a letter that day from his father you see."

"How do you know that?" Gaarder regarded him critically, then seemed to come to a decision.

"Because he was in my office when it arrived. Needless to say we were both puzzled. I later learned that Draco's father gave the Ministry vital information about the whereabouts of Death Eaters in exchange for being allowed to send _one_ letter to his only son. Of course it was checked extensively for hidden magic and words, but none was found. He couldn't have done anything to it anyway."

"But then how?" Harry's mind was trying to figure out where Gaarder was going with his explanation. He didn't even spare a thought to the fact that Draco was seeing Gaarder. It made perfect sense. In fact Harry was glad Draco had even accepted help.

"I think it would be easier if you read the letter." Gaarder produced a short letter from his pocket and gave it to Harry. Harry shook his head slightly. "Read it. Draco would have wanted you to understand." Harry took a deep breath and opened the letter. The words didn't make him understand any better.

"What does this mean? Draco decided to… make his father proud?" Gaarder shook his head.

"No. Draco was, as Pomfrey informed us, under a mind-altering spell. I believe, as does McGonagall and other members of the staff that worked with us to figure this out, that the letter triggered a spell that was already in Draco. A spell hidden within him since his childhood. That is why the letter didn't need to be magical. It was Draco's own magic that made it possible. I suppose it could in some way be compared to muggle hypnosis. It is a strange form of magic few have explored. Mostly because it takes a long time to ingrain the person with the spell, and it must be done from an early age."

"So… Draco's father planned this?" Harry found it all very hard to believe.

"In a way yes. Lucius seems to be much more clever than any of us could have guessed. At the downfall of Voldermort he started to create a last resort of sorts. One final way of getting rid of you should every other plan fail. He only activated the spell when all was lost and he simply wanted you dead."

"But… this letter… he wrote it when Draco was a child?"

"Yes. Draco has no doubt read that letter many times, but doesn't remember it. He must have taken many potions and spells as well. Every word was forced into his subconscious and the correct reaction imbedded as well."

"But how would he know that Draco would be "a disgrace to the name of Malfoy?""

"Good question. I wondered about it at first. It seems Lucius did care somewhat for his only son. He would only sacrifice Draco if he knew his son had failed him in the worst way. It would be logical as well that if indeed Draco was in a position to be able to perform his last task he would need to be close to you and therefore on the Light side, a disgrace according to Lucius." Harry nodded. It was all starting to make a little bit more sense.

"So… Lucius planned to sacrifice his only son. Make a murderer out of him. But only if his son had betrayed him and refused Voldermort… that is… sick."

"Quite… the whole letter is written vaguely of course. It would fit in many situations. But all would need to contain Lucius' own downfall and Draco's betrayal. The last effort of a desperate man."

"Will he… will he still want to kill me when he wakes up?"

"No, I do not think so. The spell will have dissipated by now. It would be impossible for a spell to stay dormant so long and still be affecting him now." Harry let out a breath. His head was starting to hurt, but it was good to know Draco would be normal again when he woke up. Harry refused to listen to the tiny voice in his head whispering: "_if he wakes up_."

"Thanks for explaining everything." Harry smiled weakly. Gaarder smiled back and rose to leave.

"He'll wake up Harry. He's stronger than any of us realize. Just stay with him. He needs you."

"I will… I will."

-:-

I swear that made a lot more sense in my head when I thought it out. Please review!

Next chapter: Draco either wakes up or goes to sleep forever! You'll have to wait to find out I'm afraid. If I get lots of reviews I may write faster!! ;-)


	9. Still Draco

**Warning:** I don't really like giving warnings. It gives the game away! So I'm not giving you any this time! Look to the rating if you're not sure you want to read it.

**Disclaimer**: see first chapter.

**Note**: Here it is! I know this chapter is utterly cliché, but I can't help myself. The only reason I managed to get this done is because I read my schedule wrong and found I didn't have any classes after all. So of course I dedicated my sudden free day to writing! Enjoy and please review!!!

-:-

"Harry?"

"Huh?" Harry lifted his head off Draco's bed. He had almost fallen asleep in a very uncomfortable position. He looked drowsily at Hermione who looked back at him with a worried expression.

"Don't you think you should try and get some rest? It may seem harsh, but I don't think it helps anybody that you waste away in front of someone who doesn't even know you're there."

"He does know," Harry said defensibly. "And you sit by Ron all the time!"

"When he's awake Harry. I keep him company when he's awake. Pomfrey said he would be able to go to classes again by tomorrow." She looked over to Ron's bed where she had been sitting moments before, but Ron was already asleep. Harry heard her sigh and saw an odd look in her eyes.

"Do you love him, Hermione?" He asked suddenly. She was jumped a little at the question and looked away, but after a while she smiled at Harry.

"I think I do… God knows why though… think I must be mad sometimes." Harry gave a small chuckle. "When did you guess?"

"It's always been there," he shrugged. "But you do sit with him a lot, even before he woke up." Hermione gave him a searching look, which always made Harry feel a bit uncomfortable. Then her eyes glided over the still unconscious form of Draco.

"And what about you Harry? Why do you sit by Draco?" Harry opened his mouth to say something like: "He's my friend now," but he just couldn't lie to Hermione with that look on her face. She'd see right through him. He sighed and gazed at Draco's face.

"I… guess I love him too." He waited tensely, not daring to look at Hermione to see her reaction. Finally the silence became too much for him to bear and he looked at her. She was smiling at him. Then she leaned a little bit closer as if she was about to tell him a secret.

"Then you should tell him that," she whispered.

"But… he may not… he can't hear me." Harry felt a lump in his throat suddenly. Hermione put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe he can't or maybe he just might. You should talk to him anyway. Even if it only helps you, you should tell him." She gave his shoulder a last squeeze and left the Hospital Wing quietly. Harry kept his gaze on Draco's face. It looked deathly pale, but he couldn't think on that. He tried to remember when that same face had been most animated, but all he could remember was sneers and insults or sadness and pain. He wondered if he would ever make Draco smile and laugh. He so wanted to hear him laugh, a genuine laugh. He took a deep breath, but still felt a tad silly. Despite this he started speaking in a hushed voice so he wouldn't wake up Ron.

"Ok, Draco… If you can hear me that's great, but if you can't… I still need to say this. I'm scared, Draco. I know you probably don't believe that, but I get scared all the time. I'm scared now more than ever I think because… because I may not be getting a real chance to say this… I love you. Don't ask me why… you can't. At first I hated you… but you were always there lurking, no lurking is a bad word. You were always present in the back of my mind. Then in the war I started to respect and admire you. Despite what you think you did all the right things for the right reasons. I can't say exactly when fascination and friendship turned to love, but it has. God, this sounds terrible. You should be glad you're not conscious for this." Harry laughed half-heartedly, but tears were starting to form in his eyes.

"Please, wake up Draco. I can't stand to lose someone _again_. I don't think I can… live without you." The tears were flowing freely now. "Don't leave me before I get a chance to tell you. Don't let your damned father win! I can't lose you too." Harry didn't know what he had expected. Perhaps by some miracle Draco would wake up at that very moment and smile and say he had heard everything and loved him too. Nothing happened unfortunately and Harry cried silently by his love's bedside until he fell asleep in his chair.

xxx

"MmmHarry… ge'off… s'my... turn." Harry's eyes snapped open as he heard his name being murmured. He leaped to his feet and stood leaning over Draco. The young blonde's eyes were moving under the lids. Before Harry could stop himself he put his hands on Draco's shoulders and shook him slightly.

"Draco?" He said pleadingly. Draco's eyes suddenly stilled and he seemed to go even more limp in Harry's hands. "No, Draco. You've got to wake up. I have to tell you I love you." Suddenly Draco's eyes started to blink open. For a moment Harry thought this was some new symptom because Draco kept blinking a long time. Then just when Harry was going to call for Madam Pomfrey the almost silver eyes suddenly focused on Harry's.

"Harry?" The voice was hoarse as if Draco had been screaming.

"Draco." Harry let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He let his head fall carefully onto Draco's chest, not taking his hands off Draco's shoulders. "God, I was so worried." He murmured. He felt as if he had run a marathon and only now could he finally rest. Then he felt Draco's hands running through his hair. He looked up and saw Draco's eyes were wide with a mixture of fear and surprise.

"Did you just say that… you love me?" Harry's eyes grew wide as well and he let go of Draco. Harry hadn't considered the reaction his statement would likely cause.

"I…" He gulped and looked at his feet.

"I love you too." It was barely more than a whisper, but Harry heard it and very slowly a smile started spreading across his face. He looked up at Draco who was also smiling, even though it was much smaller than Harry's.

"Really?" Draco nodded. Tears were forming in his eyes, but Draco used the sleeve of his pyjamas to wipe them away. He sniffed.

"It's ok, Draco."

"No, it's not, Harry. I remember what happened… in fact I remember everything now. It's like I've suddenly got a whole new set of childhood memories. I remember my him putting me through a routine of potions and spells and then using the Imperius curse to get me to do horrible things. Soon he didn't need the curse. I would do whatever he asked of me after the potion, and then later after I read letter. The letter- "

"It's ok. Gaarder explained it all. The letter. The spell." Draco looked shocked for a moment, but soon his face softened a little.

"That's good, but that's not all. I've realized something. Not just now, but during the time with Gaarder as well. I'm always going to be Draco _Malfoy_. I may not be the stupid kid who accepted everything his father fed him anymore, but I am a Malfoy. I can be… stuck-up, arrogant maybe… conservative even… I like to appear calm and collected."

"But-"

"Let me finish. I may not be the Malfoy my father wanted, but I am Draco Malfoy. I'm still Draco. That includes not breaking down into tears whenever I feel a little emotional. That also includes being able to understand if you rather liked the "just Draco" person you were talking about instead. That you fell in love with this new Draco that never really existed… and I'll understand if you can't love a Malfoy." He finished in a rush and took another deep breath, looking everywhere but at Harry. Then he heard the unmistakeable sound of Harry laughing. He turned sharply and stared at the shaking Gryffindor.

"I'm sorry… I'm just… relieved. You're being so silly, but I love you for it." He sat down on the bed and took one of Draco's hands in his. "I love you for you. Malfoy name and all." Draco smiled, this time it spread across his whole face. Harry smiled as well, then started to lean in ever so slowly.

"I love you," Draco whispered as they steadily closed the gap between them. Before they could meet however a loud snort was heard from the next bed over.

"Oh, will you just kiss and get it over with already! Honestly. Calm and collected my ass. You two sound like a romance novel my mum would read!" Ron was sitting with his arms crossed and looking exasperated. Harry laughed and so did Draco. Their laughter rang through the Hospital Wing.

"Merlin, that felt good," Draco remarked after they had finally calmed down. "I really needed that." Harry grinned, a mischievous glint in his eye Draco found he liked very much.

"I know what else you need," he said as he suddenly pulled the curtains around Draco's bed closed. He then cast a quick silencing spell. He ran to the side of Draco's bed and once more leaned in. The kiss was tentative at first, but very quickly became the evidence of both men's passion for each other. Draco started to pull Harry over him onto the bed. Harry put his elbows on either side of Draco's head as Draco's hands moved over Harry's back. They started moaning into each other's mouths as their tongues entwined.

"What in Merlin's name is going on!" Harry had never gotten so quickly out of bed in his life. When he regained his balance he saw before him a very annoyed Madam Pomfrey, and also a very amused Hermione.

"Eh, I," Harry began, but was cut off.

"You should have told me the second he awoke!" She pushed passed Harry and began to examine Draco. After a few moments she sighed in relief. "Well, he seems to be fine, but still… at least I cannot detect any lasting effect of the spell." She turned and drew the curtains on the other side of the bed away to reveal Ron's bed. She proceeded to examine Ron.

"I'm so glad you're awake!" Hermione exclaimed suddenly and hugged Draco, who seemed quite shocked at first, but in the end melted into the hug.

"Thanks," he said.

"Does it hurt?" The three of them turned to see Madam Pomfrey hovering over Ron's leg.

"Not so much anymore," was Ron's reply. Draco frowned.

"Listen We- Ron… I'm sorry about the leg." Ron shrugged.

"Doesn't matter, Draco. I know you didn't mean it. Besides I broke the other one in third year. This one was beginning to feel left out." For the second time Draco's laughter was heard, even though he was the only one this time. As it subsided into the occasional chuckle Draco said:

"I never realized you were so funny." Ron grinned.

"Well, at least someone finally appreciates my sense of humour!" Harry snorted.

"He's got the same bad sense as you then."

"Hey!" They all laughed, even Madam Pomfrey smiled. Draco was feeling happier than ever before. Nothing compared to just hanging out with friends. And they were friends now, Draco realized, and something more.

-:-

Not sure if this should be the end. It seems like a logical place to stop, but maybe someone would like an epilogue? Don't really know what that would contain. I just wanted to leave it on a light note. Tell me what you think!!


	10. Alternate ending, Still Draco

**Warning:** Some snogging in this one. ;-)

**Disclaimer**: see first chapter.

**Note**: I wrote chapter 8 in a rush when I found out I had a free day. It was almost just like I had pictured it in my mind, but something was bugging me about it. I guess I felt Draco wouldn't just wake up and be completely clear-thinking and ready to make a speech. So this is a little different. An alternate ending so to speak. That you can chose what you want, pure fluff or slightly angsty, but with a fluff ending. The first scene with Harry is the same as in chapter eight. So skip to the first "xxx" if you've already read it. Enjoy and don't forget to review at the end!!!

-:-

"Harry?"

"Huh?" Harry lifted his head off Draco's bed. He had almost fallen asleep in a very uncomfortable position. He looked drowsily at Hermione who looked back at him with a worried expression.

"Don't you think you should try and get some rest? It may seem harsh, but I don't think it helps anybody that you waste away in front of someone who doesn't even know you're there."

"He does know," Harry said defensibly. "And you sit by Ron all the time!"

"When he's awake Harry. I keep him company when he's awake. Pomfrey said he would be able to go to classes again by tomorrow." She looked over to Ron's bed where she had been sitting moments before, but Ron was already asleep. Harry heard her sigh and saw an odd look in her eyes.

"Do you love him, Hermione?" He asked suddenly. She was jumped a little at the question and looked away, but after a while she smiled at Harry.

"I think I do… God knows why though… think I must be mad sometimes." Harry gave a small chuckle. "When did you guess?"

"It's always been there," he shrugged. "But you do sit with him a lot, even before he woke up." Hermione gave him a searching look, which always made Harry feel a bit uncomfortable. Then her eyes glided over the still unconscious form of Draco.

"And what about you Harry? Why do you sit by Draco?" Harry opened his mouth to say something like: "He's my friend now," but he just couldn't lie to Hermione with that look on her face. She'd see right through him. He sighed and gazed at Draco's face.

"I… guess I love him too." He waited tensely, not daring to look at Hermione to see her reaction. Finally the silence became too much for him to bear and he looked at her. She was smiling at him. Then she leaned a little bit closer as if she was about to tell him a secret.

"Then you should tell him that," she whispered.

"But… he may not… he can't hear me." Harry felt a lump in his throat suddenly. Hermione put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe he can't or maybe he just might. You should talk to him anyway. Even if it only helps you, you should tell him." She gave his shoulder a last squeeze and left the Hospital Wing quietly. Harry kept his gaze on Draco's face. It looked deathly pale, but he couldn't think on that. He tried to remember when that same face had been most animated, but all he could remember was sneers and insults or sadness and pain. He wondered if he would ever make Draco smile and laugh. He so wanted to hear him laugh, a genuine laugh. He took a deep breath, but still felt a tad silly. Despite this he started speaking in a hushed voice so he wouldn't wake up Ron.

"Ok, Draco… If you can hear me that's great, but if you can't… I still need to say this. I'm scared, Draco. I know you probably don't believe that, but I get scared all the time. I'm scared now more than ever I think because… because I may not be getting a real chance to say this… I love you. Don't ask me why… you can't. At first I hated you… but you were always there lurking, no lurking is a bad word. You were always present in the back of my mind. Then in the war I started to respect and admire you. Despite what you think you did all the right things for the right reasons. I can't say exactly when fascination and friendship turned to love, but it has. God, this sounds terrible. You should be glad you're not conscious for this." Harry laughed half-heartedly, but tears were starting to form in his eyes.

"Please, wake up Draco. I can't stand to lose someone _again_. I don't think I can… live without you." The tears were flowing freely now. "Don't leave me before I get a chance to tell you. Don't let your damned father win! I can't lose you too." Harry didn't know what he had expected. Perhaps by some miracle Draco would wake up at that very moment and smile and say he had heard everything and loved him too. Nothing happened unfortunately and Harry cried silently by his love's bedside until he was found by Madam Pomfrey and told to go and sleep in his dorm.

xxx

"_Avada Kedavra!" Draco yelled just before a green spark shot out of his wand. The spark his it's intended target seconds later and a dull thud was heard. "Oh, no… what have I done?" It was as if he was waking from a dream, but he awoke to find only a nightmare. He staggered forwards, falling to his knees beside the heap that used to be a person. His hands were shaking uncontrollably as he reached for the head and turned it around to look into the lifeless eyes of Albus Dumbledore. "No," he croaked, shaking his head in disbelief. "It wasn't me." He said as he turned his head and glanced back at were he had stood moments before as if to make sure, but there was no one there, and it had indeed been him who had uttered the curse. He looked back at the face in his hands and started to scream when the face before him changed into that of Harry Potter. He screamed until he was sure his lungs would burst, but the sound just kept coming. Then a searing pain made him clutch his arm. He pulled his sleeve up to reveal the Mark burning his skin. _

_"I told you, Draco, son. You would make me proud one day." He heard his father's voice echo in his mind as he desperately tried to scratch the Mark off his arm. He scratched until there wasn't any flesh left, but still the Mark remained, etched into his very bone. _

"No!" Draco sat bolt upright, panting and drenched in sweat. He looked around in confusion. The Hospital Wing was deathly quiet despite his strangled scream a moment ago. Only a couple of candles burned at either side of the door. He looked to his right to see Ron staring at him from his own bed. He had obviously just been woken up by Draco's scream.

"Draco? You awake now or still dreaming?" Draco didn't understand the question. Without a moments hesitation he jumped out of bed and headed for the door, barefoot and wearing only his pyjamas.

"Draco!" He heard Ron yell, but didn't stop for a second as he burst through the door. He started running down the hallway and up several flights of stairs, the last of which was steep and winding. He reached the Astronomy Tower breathless and cold. There he collapsed onto his knees at the exact spot he had been in his dream. He reached out as if to touch some invisible body lying there, but there was no one and his hands just passed through air. After waving his hands in front of him for a while he sighed and closed his eyes.

"It didn't happen. Harry's not dead. I stopped. I was stopped. If I had finished the task I would have woken up in Azkaban. He's alive and I haven't murdered anybody here… ever." His breathing was starting to become normal again. He sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Then he got shakily to his feet and started to move slowly towards the side of the Tower. He looked down into the night. He pictured in his mind that he could see Dumbledore's body on the ground. He reached out and pulled himself onto the edge, standing straight only after he was sure he could keep his balance. He was thankful that there wasn't much wind. He stood completely still, just staring down were Dumbledore must have fallen. _I should have died so many times,_ he thought, though he never really imagined he would be able to step forwards. There was after all still something so live for. Harry's friendship was worth it if nothing else. But there was also something strangely mesmerizing about the dark abyss before him. He could almost feel himself falling asleep.

Suddenly instead of falling forward he was pulled backwards. Strong hands were rapped around him as he found himself on the ground, leaning into a warm chest, which was rising and falling heavily. Draco tilted his head to the side and upward and saw emerald green eyes staring down at him. Harry was lying on his back with Draco on top of him.

"Fuck, Draco!" Harry yelled. "Are you trying to scare me to death?" Draco shook his head sluggishly.

"No."

"Then what the bloody hell do you think you were doing!?" Harry was holding painfully tight to Draco, but he didn't mind that much, in fact Draco felt safer than he had in a long time.

"I was just looking," he said as if it was the most logical thing in the world. He sounded childish almost.

"You don't get up on the bloody _edge_ of a _Tower_ just to look!" Draco seemed to come to his senses at this statement. He turned around in Harry's arms so he was facing the raven-haired saviour, his hands on the man's chest.

"I wasn't going to jump, Harry," he said sincerely. "I promise. I couldn't leave, even if I deserve it. I couldn't leave now that I finally get to be your friend." He stared into Harry's eyes trying to convey everything he meant and felt. Harry signed, but his grip tightened.

"You don't deserve to die, Draco. Don't ever say that. Don't ever blame yourself for anything! I know what it's like, believe me, you'll only drive yourself crazy. The best thing we can do is let the people we lost go and remember that none died in vain. Voldermort is gone, but unless you let go of your guilt the war within you will never end." Draco's head fell onto Harry's chest.

"But I almost killed you," he whispered.

"It wasn't you. Gaarder explained everything to me. Your father put you under a spell when you were a child."

"I know."

"You do?"

"I remember everything now. All the potions I had to take. All the times he used the Imperius curse to make sure I had the right reaction to the letter. Until I would do everything he wanted."

"Then… you know it wasn't your fault."

"Doesn't mean a lot of other things weren't my fault."

"Please, stop it Draco. I could say the same thing."

"It's still different. You're Harry Potter. The saviour of the wizarding world. I'll always be Draco Malfoy. I'll always be my father's son… I'll always be the same arrogant, smug Malfoy walking these corridors too. Even if I can't insult you properly anymore, I'll still be… a Malfoy."

"I'm not sure I understand." Draco lifted his head to look at Harry again. He suddenly realized the position they were in and had a sudden intake of breath.

"I'm sorry. I think the spell is still messing with my brain. I can't seem to make coherent thoughts. I may not make much sense… I-"

"Just talk… you can tell me anything."

"I just mean… I understand if you don't want to be my friend." To Draco's surprise Harry smiled.

"Now I know you're crazy. Of _course _I want to be your friend. In fact I want…" Draco felt as if he was drowning in Harry's eyes. "I don't want to be your friend." A frown appeared on Draco's face. "Because I'm in love with you." Draco's eyes went wide.

"You…" Suddenly it seemed the force of gravity had increased, for Draco found his head steadily falling towards Harry's. Their lips met as Harry gasped, and Draco pulled back slightly from surprise, but Harry quickly put a hand round his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Draco felt his insides melt and his thoughts become even more delirious than before. When their hands started to roam over each other's bodies they suddenly heard someone clear their throat.

"Ahem." Two sets of eyes shot up to see a bemused Gaarder and Professor McGonagall in the doorway. The two recently snogging men quickly got to their feet and looked shyly away from the interrupting professors.

"Well, it seems Mr. Malfoy is feeling fine now Professor McGonagall," Gaarder said, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

"Nevertheless I think Mr. Malfoy needs to return to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey will want to examine him. Come along." She promptly turned and left the Tower, quickly followed by Gaarder. Harry and Draco stood a moment in silence. Then Draco started for the door, but a hand grabbed his wrist. Harry pulled him in for another searing kiss, his face cupped by those smooth hands. When they finally pulled away both were in each other's arms and grinning.

"You going to be ok now?" Harry asked.

"In time, yes. I'll still be Draco Malfoy though."

"That's what I was hoping for." Harry gave Draco one last chaste kiss before taking his hand and leading him down the stairs. Draco followed happily, the grin never leaving his face.

-:-

There may still be an epilogue coming, but I can't say when because I have a HUGE amount of work to do.

Remember that I'll always try to write faster if lots of people review and ask for an epilogue!!! Please review!


	11. Epilogue

**Warning:** some adult themes ;-)

**Disclaimer**: see first chapter.

**Note:** Wow! Here is the epilogue to my longest fic ever!! It is also the fic with the most reviews ever. I would like to thank everybody that took the time to read and review this fic. Especially those who came back and reviewed every chapter! You guys are great!! It gives me a warm feeling inside every time I recognise a reviewer from an earlier chapter because it means you have kept reading, and that you still like it!!! Thanks so so soooooo much. You always put a smile on my face.

Enjoy and thanks for sticking with this story!!! (And if your feeling really generous please leave a review at the end… ?? ;-)

-:-

"Potter." Draco's use of Harry's last name inspired none of the old anger in the green-eyed Gryffindor, well, no longer a Gryffindor actually. It was a name now always used playfully, and never when angry. Harry turned towards his lover, eyes gleaming with mischief. Draco was standing right behind him, the blonde's eyes equally mischievous. Draco stepped back and gave a small bow while extending his hand. "Would the Man Who Conquered my heart care to dance?" Harry had to suppress a giggle, he always felt so childish and giddy when Draco behaved like an old-fashioned gentleman. He turned briefly back to Tonks and Remus, whom he had been speaking to, and excused himself. The couple only smiled knowingly and went to the dance floor themselves. Harry took Draco's hand and allowed himself to be led into the middle of the room, where many couples were already dancing slowly to some sappy love song. But Harry didn't care about the music. He was too preoccupied with drowning in a pair of silver grey eyes. Draco took the lead, he never could dance properly otherwise, and the two started swaying to the music. Harry let his head rest on his lover's shoulder. His eyes strayed over to the main table, where he could see another happy couple, one of which was the newest edition to the Weasley clan.

"It was a beautiful ceremony," Harry said softly into Draco's ear.

"Are you getting sentimental on me, Potter? Soon you'll be begging me to get down on one knee. Or start throwing hissy-fits if I forget our anniversary."

"But you never forget our anniversary," Harry said playfully. Draco chuckled.

"That's true, but that's also the best you can expect I'm afraid."

"Don't you want… to stay with me forever?" Harry voice was suddenly betraying more uncertainty than he had intended. Draco scoffed slightly.

"Honestly, Potter. You know very well I'll never leave you. Stop being silly…" He sighed. "You know I'm not one for big ceremonies and lots of guests Harry… I don't much see the point in marriage." The conversation had suddenly taken on a serious note Harry was keen to dispel.

"I wont mention it again then," he said and nuzzled into Draco's neck. The blonde man held him tighter as they swayed, oblivious to anyone else in the room.

xxx

"Good luck, mate," Harry grinned as he gave Ron one last hug. Then he turned to Hermione, who was looking stunningly beautiful in white, and gave her a hug too. "Keep him out of trouble, yeah?" He whispered into her ear. She laughed and kissed his cheek.

"Ron, Hermione. Have a great time," Draco smiled as he shook Ron's hand and turned to Hermione to shake hers, but she would have none of it and pulled him into a quick hug. Draco had the wind knocked out of him a little, but quickly regained his composure and managed to look as dignified as ever when waving them off. There were a lot of cheers coming from the crowd as the happily married couple made their way to the portkey, their luggage already gone ahead to their dream-honeymoon destination. Then in the blink of an eye they were gone, and the crowd slowly went inside to finish the festivities on their own. Suddenly Draco pulled Harry to him and whispered huskily in his ear.

"Let's get out of here." Harry smiled and decided to humour his lover, even though he actually wanted to talk to Remus a bit more. Before anyone had even noticed their absence the couple was already making their way up the stairs to their London flat. When they reached their floor both looked up in puzzlement to see a short, official-looking man at their door. It looked like he had just been about to knock.

"Can we help you?" Draco asked, coming up the last step and thereby towering slightly over the man. Draco had long been keen to have absolutely nothing to do with the Ministry or anything "official." The short man wore a light brown, but faded suit and black bowler hat, and his shirt was a horrible shade of purple. He was obviously trying to look muggle, and failing miserably.

"Mr. Malfoy?" The man enquired.

"Yes, I am he." The man produced a letter from his pocket and handed it to Draco.

"It's my duty to deliver this personally. If you would kindly read it now and give me your answer?" Draco frowned, but opened the letter nonetheless. Harry was still standing a few steps down, keeping a polite distance. As Draco read through the letter his frown increased, and Harry noted with trepidation that he was shaking ever so slightly. When he finished he brusquely folded the letter and stuffed it in his own pocket.

"Keep it. I don't want to see it." Draco said, keeping his voice steady. The man nodded, touched his hat and hurried down the stairs passed a confused looking Harry. Before he could ask what that had been about Draco had unlocked the door and disappeared inside. Harry followed a few moments later, but found the living room empty, as well as the kitchen. He walked down the short corridor to the bedroom door, which stood slightly ajar. Inside he found Draco sitting on the edge of the large four-poster bed, his eyes fixed on his hands folded in his lap. The room was mostly decorated in Slytherin green, because Malfoy insisted he slept better that way.

"Draco?" He asked hesitantly as he came slowly towards the bed. He knelt in front of his lover, looking up into his eyes. They were dry, which Harry wasn't sure if was a good thing.

"He's dead… finally," he said as he produced the letter from his pocket, handing it to Harry. "Go on, read it." Harry took the letter and unfolded it.

_Draco Malfoy. _

_It is our regret to inform you that Lucius Malfoy died in prison this morning. We believe his passing was painless and quick. Should you wish to claim the body we would have you do so within a week at the latest. Otherwise it will be buried in the prison cemetery without name or ceremony. We are sorry for your loss. _

_Governor of Azkaban Fortress _

_Alastor Gumboil _

"Are you ok?" Harry asked after he had finished reading the letter. He wasn't sure what to say. Draco hadn't spoken much about his father since the incident during their last year. Harry had never forced the subject either. To him it had seemed as if the man was already dead. Draco sighed suddenly and looked away.

"Yeah… I'm fine." He said, his voice monotone. "Do you think I'm a bad person?"

"What? No, of course not," Harry reassured him as he took the blonde's hand and squeezed it. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I'm glad he's dead. All my life I have never felt any love for him. Never respect, only fear. I feel as if a shadow has finally been lifted. I'm free of him at last. It's like the war is now truly over." Harry got up and sat beside Draco, taking the man's shoulders and turning him so that they faced each other.

"You're a good person, Draco, and I completely understand that you feel relieved. Lucius never deserved your love or respect. It's fine. I love you. We are both free of him." Draco let out a breath he had been holding. He let his head fall onto Harry's shoulder.

"Harry…" he murmured into his lover's neck. He moved closer, his arms moving around Harry's waist.

"Yes?" Harry's arms found themselves around Draco.

"Marry me?" Harry froze, his heart had suddenly quickened. He actually shivered.

"What?" He heard himself say. Draco righted himself so he could look into Harry's eyes.

"Marry me. Please?" Even though Harry wanted more than anything to say yes he still forced himself not to. Even though he had been praying for this moment he still wanted a few answers first.

"Have you been waiting for your father to die before you asked?"

"No! … and yes. I didn't do it on purpose Harry. You must believe I didn't plan it like that! It's just… I never really thought about marriage. You know me, but now it's as if nothing can stop us anymore! This weight is gone and I want to be happy, and that means making you happy." Draco's eyes burned with emotion as he tried to convey all the love he felt for Harry. "Marry me, Harry."

"Alright." Draco smiled and kissed Harry quickly on the cheek. Harry chuckled softly at the strange show of affection. He took Draco's head in his hands and kissed the man more passionately.

"But I am _not_ doing any silly traditions," Draco said when they broke apart. "It will be a _simple_ ceremony with a _few_ close friends."

"Whatever you want," Harry whispered against Draco's mouth before they shared another kiss. The next time they broke apart Draco was grinning.

"I guess I'm finally making an honest man out of you, Potter." And that was all Harry needed. They way Draco said his name always made him slightly wild. He pushed Draco onto the bed and started kissing him hungrily wherever he could find bare skin, and then started fumbling with the buttons of Draco's dress robes to get at more.

"I love you," Draco almost moaned as Harry kissed down his bare chest.

"I know love, I know." And Harry always did know, even though Draco seldom said as much. He never felt more loved however than he did at that very moment, and neither had Draco.

-END-

Ps: There is an enormous chocolate cookie for anyone who knows where the name Alastor Gumboil is from (the cookie is really huge because it's a pretty hard question). He isn't the governor of Azkaban, but he there is a good reason why I picked that name (it is a HP name). Hope you all enjoyed the fic. I certainly enjoyed writing it.


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